In ancient China, love was often expressed not with grand declarations, but through subtle, meaningful gestures. Gift-giving between men and women carried layers of cultural symbolism and emotional depth. These tokens were more than simple objects—they were silent conversations of the heart.
1. Tokens of Affection
Jade Pendants
Jade has long symbolized purity, resilience, and noble character in Chinese culture. When exchanged between lovers, it spoke of emotions as enduring and flawless as the stone itself. To give jade was to wish for a love that, like jade, would never fade or fracture.
Scented Sachets (Fragrant Pouches)
Often hand-sewn by women and filled with aromatic herbs, these sachets were deeply personal. The delicate fragrance served as a lingering reminder of the giver’s presence. Offering one to a loved one wasn’t just a gesture of affection—it was an intimate symbol of care and longing.
Hairpins and Hairpieces
Hair accessories held strong romantic meaning. A woman gifting a man a hairpin, or a man adorning a woman’s hair with one, reflected a promise of commitment. In Chinese tradition, hair was associated with one’s identity, making these gifts quiet vows of lifelong devotion.
2. Gifts of Culture and Sentiment
Brush, Ink, Paper, and Inkstone
For the literati class, the Four Treasures of the Study were more than tools—they were expressions of intellect and refinement. When a man gave a woman these items, it hinted at admiration for her intellect or poetic nature. If she responded in kind, it revealed a connection rooted in shared values and literary harmony.
Handkerchiefs
Soft and often embroidered, a handkerchief was a delicate, personal gift. When exchanged, especially with handcrafted details, it was a symbol of tenderness. It conveyed affection without speaking a word—a quiet act of emotional closeness.
3. Nature-Inspired and Symbolic Keepsakes
Red Beans (Adzuki Beans)
Immortalized in classical poetry as a symbol of longing, red beans became known as “lovesick beans.” Their simple appearance belied deep emotional weight. To send red beans was to speak directly of yearning, without saying a word.
Lover’s Knots (Double-Knot Charms)
Woven from silk or thread, these knots represented two lives intertwined. The intricate design and name carried the message: “bound together at heart.” They were a favored token of mutual devotion, a tangible wish for lasting unity.
In ancient China, the art of gift-giving was not merely about objects—it was about meaning. Every detail, from the materials to the craftsmanship, served as a metaphor for love. In a culture that valued restraint and depth, these tokens allowed lovers to speak from the soul—softly, but with enduring strength.